I'm so tired that...
I put the seat on the toilet down and then peed on the lid. I put my muffin in my pocket and ate my change.
this is a game that we play on our way to school because at 6 in the morning we teachers are fairly underslept. Some of the larger absudities of the week include the following.
We have a lap top cart of computers for student use on our floor. There are twenty some odd machines in it. Except that they continue to get stolen. This makes it so that no teacher wants to use the cart because the fear of being responsible or even associated with the missing computers is so great that it is simply too scary to want to let the kids use it. So... we decided to try a computer lab with desktop computers. After one week, the kids had stolen all the mice. Why? We'll never know. So, we can't use it. I tried to use it today anyway but it turns out that although we were told we could sign up for it, there are classes scheduled in there throughout most of the day. I got a teacher to switch with me but discovered quickly that the computers were pretty tough to use without mice.
A student in his gym shorts walked into my room to put on his jeans. I tried to explain to him that my room was not a dressing room but decided it was probably in my best interest to discuss this with him from outside my classroom door as I didn't want to get sued for some indiscretion. He laughed and told me that "I should not play him, and that you know you want to hit this." I shudder at the very notion.
After a month of discussing the meaning of research, several students told me today that they still did not have their research topics.
Several other students informed me that wikipedia, google, and ask jeeves are the only places a person needs to go for research.
I realized that I'd bitten off way more than I could chew when I attempted to teach them a works cited page. They thought it was impossible and after awhile so did I.
At one point there were 30 different versions of hip hop playing in the computer lab and my head was swelling.
A student and I reminiced about the good old days of her freshman year and we both meant it.
Another student told me that she'd had sex today and I could barely breathe. She is so young. Her mom is so Haitian. Please let her mom not find out. She might not let her live to see 18.
A student who never showed up to my AP English class asked to start attending. It's only been a month. I said ok and she still didn't show up but she took off with my book.
A teacher's wallet was stolen from my classroom.
This boy got mad at me for making him wear his uniform despite the fact that it is a school rule and I've been repeating it since the beginning of September.
I watched the school assistant pick up her paycheck. After taxes it was $18.
My friend, the union rep, got into a screaming match with the principal of another school simply for asking where to place a kid in an emergency situation.
I watched a boy try to beat another boy up in front of his mother. She is half of his size but managed to hold him back pretty well.
A mother complained to me in Spanish that her son was the only one of the four in her family who was "no good."
A kid who cuts my class everyday accused me of not "giving him the handouts." I tried not to laugh in his face.